Pyro Maniacs
by WutKindOfNameIsThis
Summary: a funny story staring Bakura and Marik. title speaks for iself. will write more if people like it
1. Default Chapter

Pyro Maniacs The Prologue  
  
Disclaimer-..............zzzzz........(WAKE UP!).......what *falls off of bed* ow...... oh umm *blink blink* hi.....something you want? (pisst disclaimer) oh right I forgot hehe ^-^;;; I don't own anything. ( It's really quite sad  
  
"ARRRRGGGG I'M SOOOOOOOOOO BOOORRREDDD!" said an annoyed Bakura as he turned off the TV, after flipping through the channels of what seemed to be the hundredth time.  
  
He got up and left the living room and stomped over to where Ryou was washing the dishes in the kitchen.  
  
"I'm bored!" whined Bakura as he tugged on Ryou's sleeve acting like 5 year old.  
  
"Not now Bakura" sighed Ryou.  
  
"But Ryou I'm boooorrreddd" whined the yami even louder, still tugging on his hikari's sleeve.  
  
"Not now Bakura" growled Ryou threw gritted teeth.  
  
Getting the hint Bakura backed off and left the kitchen, mumbling to himself how Ryou never had enough time for him. He plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, and then remembered that nothing was on. So he turned it back off and did the only thing he could do.  
  
"Ryou I'm boooorrrrredddd!" Bakura whine, even louder then last time.  
  
"THATS IT!" yelled Ryou slamming the pot that he was cleaning at the time into the sink that just happened to be filled with water, causing a tremendous splash.  
  
"THATS IT THATS IT THATS IT!" shouted the usually timid boy walking toward Bakura with clenched fist and gritted teeth.  
  
"Uhh you ok Ryou?" asked a fearful Bakura baking away as he saw Ryou's left eye twitch.  
  
"NO!" exploded the frustrated lighter half. "BAKURA CANT YOU SEE I'M BUSY!" Bakura tried to answer but couldn't get a word in. "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CLEAN THIS PIG STY OF A HOUSE , THANKS TO YOU BY THE WAY! BUT NOOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO BUG ME EVERY 5 GOD DAMN FUCKING MINUTES!!!!"  
  
"But but" said the darker half baking up as Ryou advanced towards him.  
  
"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY BAKURA? NO OF COUSE NOT YOUR TO BUSY BEING A SELFISH BASTARD!!!!" Ryou was breathing heavily do to the amount of yelling he had just done.  
  
"But" said Bakura and Ryou exploded once more.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shouted and started throwing various objects at the startled yami. "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUUUTT!!!!"  
  
Bakura had never seen this side of Ryou and to tell you the truth, it was really scary. He backed up as boy kept throwing various things at him.  
  
"Ouch" said the darker half holding up his hands to protect his head. "Owwie!"  
  
"GET OUT!" and with that Ryou pushed Bakura out of the door and slammed it in his face.  
  
"Ow" said Bakura as he tried to get up off his butt. "Whoa woow- aaaaaahhhh!" *thud* But unfortunately lost his balance and fell down the steps "owwwieee! My poor ass. My poor beautiful ass" complained the Bakura rubbing his rear-end and stood up. But to his great misfortune slipped on a patch of ice hitting the ground for a third time. The darker half cried, not so much out of pain but out of frustration. (Mental note: do NOT get on Ryou's bad side! Its physically damaging to my ass) he thought to himself. "Grrrr he's going to pay!" growled the darker half balling his hands into a fist; but before he could make a single move back to the house Ryou hurled the door open and shouted:  
  
"AND DONT YOU DARE COME BACK HERE UNTIL I'M DONE!!!!" and slammed the door shut again.  
  
(Never mind then) thought Bakura. Highly distressed he got up from the cold ground and started walking towards the drive-way. Pouting, the yami put his hands inside his pockets. Just as he reached the end of the driveway Bakura slipped yet again on one of the many objects Ryou had thrown at him earlier. "What the crap is this? I swear I'm not ment to walk today. Man my poor poor butt" he slowly stood up rubbing his ass. Bakura looked around for the object that was the cause of the pain in his rer-end. He bent down and picked up the item. It was a small rectangular box with a metallic covering and had some righting on the cover. Bakura wiped some snow off of the box in order to read it. The writing was in yellow letters with a black background, it said-  
  
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case Coincidence? I think NOT!  
  
"HAHAHA" laugh Bakura  
  
It was just too funny not to, considering how much it was like him. He kept on walking. Staring at the metallic box. Flipping it over repeatedly in his hand. Trying for the life of him to figure out what it was. Bakura was too involved in the trinket that he didn't notice the person in roller blades coming at full speed ahead of him. The skater hit Bakura head on causing the object to fly out of his hands. The two went strait to the ground with a loud "thud".  
  
"GOD DAMN IT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 'MAKE BAKURA FALL DAY?!?!" shouted Bakura.  
  
"Well sorry it's not my fault you didn't hear me coming. I was yelling and every thing! Geezzz are you deaf or something?........Hello?" said the skate. But Bakura was to busy looking for the metallic box.  
  
"Damn it where did it go?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Gasp* where did the silvery box thingy go? Dun dun dun!!!! And who is that skater person guy? Hmmmm? I wonder......*ponder ponder* And when the hell did Bakura lean to read? Well if you like my fic then review!!!!! Because that's what motivates me to write more  
  
I don't know why, it just does. SO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't know how? All you have to do is click that little 'GO' button And tadah! A screen will show up and you type stuff in that screen. Then click submit review it's as easy as...umm.... cake! ^-^ And I loooovvveeee cake mmmm 


	2. Bakura's Discovery Day

Pyro Maniacs Bakura's Discovery day  
  
Disclaimer- -_- Yeah I own Yu-Gi-Oh. Sure and fish walk the earth dating green pigs wearing poke-dotted bow ties, Eating pineapple pirsher *sigh* but they don't and of course I don't either  
  
o yeah and id like to give credit for my friend TheUnlovedOutcast I would be soooo lost with out you Considering I can't spell worth crap ~Was threatened if I didn't to this~  
  
(Thinking) *Actions* ~* me talking, because sometimes I just have to say something *~ ~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~-*-~  
  
"Where is it? Where is it?" complained Bakura to no one in particular, as he ruffled through the uncut grass. He was franticly searching for the metallic box that had slipped out of his hands earlier.  
  
"What ya doin'?" questioned the skater as he stood up on his wobbly feet.  
  
"Nothing" grumbled the yami.  
  
He didn't really know why he cared so much about the little box. It's just that it was so cool looking and it had that funny phrase on it. Besides it might be important to Ryou, not that he cared or anything, but he just didn't want to get on the boy's bad side........Again.  
  
Bakura blinked. He stopped searching through the grass and looked up at the dirty blond that had caused him to fall for the fourth or fifth time today. His eyes narrowed when he saw who it was.  
  
The white haired boy made a 'humph' and went back to looking for the trinket.  
  
"What do you want Malik?" he growled not bothering to look up.  
  
Bakura and Malik had never really gotten along. Well actually they never really had a chance to not get along or get along for that matter. They were more of acquaintances if anything else. Knew each other's name and saw each other occasionally but that's about it.  
  
"Nothing, why do you ask?" replied the hikari innocently.  
  
Malik shrugged and turned his head when Bakura didn't answer. At that moment he saw something sparkle in the grass. The hikari picked it up, but before he had a chance to get a good look at the it, the darker half of the two ripped it out of his hands.  
  
"That's mine!" Growled the yami angrily, looking the object over seeing if Malik had damaged it in any way, shape, or form.  
  
"Really? That's awesome! I got o-" exclaimed the lighter half excitedly, but was cut off.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, sure, what ever, that's nice Malik" said Bakura dismissing every word with a simple wave of his hand.  
  
Malik was a little pissed off that Bakura wasn't listening to him but since his attention span was as long lasting as a potato's he soon forgot about it.  
  
"What does it say?" asked the dirty blond, indicating to the yami's metallic box.  
  
"What? Oh umm it says" began Bakura looking down at the trinket. "24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case Coincidence? I think NOT!" when he finished there was a short silence.  
  
".........Ha! That's pretty funny." Laughed Malik suddenly  
  
"Yeah, I know.......Now...go away" ordered the yami irritated.  
  
But, of course, Malik wasn't pay attention ~* because that's just the kind of guy he is. alternative hearing and all* ~  
  
"That's a pretty cool lighter Bakura, where did you get it?" asked the hikari.  
  
"A what?" questioned the white haired boy.  
  
"What?" replied Malik in confusion to Bakura's reply.  
  
"What did you call it? A lighter? Is that what this is?" inquired the darker half looking down at his metallic box.  
  
Malik had a look of horror on his face, his mouth gaping open not to mention trembling a bit.  
  
"You mean," he blinked a few times, "you don't know...what a lighter is??????"  
  
Malik couldn't believe his ears. How could some one NOT know what a lighter is. Especially if they HAD one! The hikari had grown up with lighters and stuff like that it had never occurred to him that anyone wouldn't know what it was. Seeing the look on Malik's face made Bakura realize he had just made himself look really stupid. The darker half tried to recover from the mistake.  
  
"OF COUSE I KNOW WHAT A LIGHTER IS.........................now," shouted the white haired boy, looking down at his feet as he said the last part.  
  
Thinking quickly wasn't his strong suit.  
  
Malik's jaw dropped even lower, if that was possible."You poor, poor deprived little-man" he said with pure pity on his face while shaking his head solemnly.  
  
Bakura growled a bit, he had the urge to slap blond up side the head but he really really really wanted to know more about this lighter thing. So he decided against it.  
  
"So huh," started the darker half rocking back and forth on the balls of his heels.  
  
"Let's say I didn't know what a ummm 'lighter' is and I asked you what it was. What would your answer be? H-hypothetically,...of course." probed the yami using his fingers to indicate quotation marks.  
  
The hikari's facial expression turned from pity to the 'you are such a dumb ass' look very quickly.  
  
"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" questioned Malik.  
  
Bakura didn't say anything but he didn't have to. his face said a thousand words or in this case just one. Yes  
  
"If you want to know what a lighter is then just ask, ya jackass" retorted the lighter half.  
  
Bakura gave Malik one of his famous death glares. He did NOT like people making fun of him. Well technically Malik wasn't making fun of him...or was he? Nah, Malik wasn't that smart.  
  
The darker half growled a little. He didn't feel like damaging his pride any more then he had already done today. So he turned, and left saying nothing more than a 'humph'.  
  
The blond shrugged. (his loss) He stood there, not knowing what to do now that Bakura was leaving. Still being on his skates and all, Malik rolled towards the yami and caught up fairly quickly, considering he was just walking. The haikari strode beside the white haired boy and hummed innocently.  
  
Bakura started to walk faster getting annoyed, and Malik skated faster. And Bakura walked a little faster and Malik skated a little faster. ~* and so the Great Walking Chase beings! *~ And Bakura walked even faster. And Malik skated even faster. Then Bakura started to sprint. So Malik started to sprint/skate ~* sprint/skate...its sprinting......on skates *~. It was fairly easy to keep up with the paranoid yami considering he wasn't on wheels. Getting fed up with this charade, Bakura stopped abruptly, which caught Malik off guard making him fall.  
  
"Ow. Crap it" whined the hikari rubbing his butt.  
  
He slowly got up, but since he was still wearing his skates, he slipped again.  
  
"OWWIIIEEEE!!" he whined. "Grrrr baka Bastard" he grumbled, obviously talking about the darker half.  
  
Bakura could only point and laugh.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
(Well, I guess I can't laugh too much considering that happened to me too.) he thought. Bakura calmed down and started to walk off once more but this time a whole lot faster. Seeing the yami leave Malik hurried and got up, and followed once again. Getting annoyed Bakura turned around.  
  
"STOP FOLLOWING ME!" he shouted.  
  
The liter half blinked at Bakura's sudden 'ruddiness' "I'm not following you. I'm just walking with you, asshole," stated Malik.  
  
"What's the difference?" shouted the yami trying ever so hard not to choke the boy.  
  
"Well, you see, I was going this way in the first place. So technically I'm not following you, just walking with you. Like I said before...dumb ass" replied the blond.  
  
Bakura's left eye began to twitch. Malik was seriously beginning to get on his nerves.  
  
"Fine, then I'll just go this way" stated the yami and walked past Malik, in the opposite direction.  
  
The hikari shrugged, "Your funeral."  
  
At that Bakura stopped and turned around.  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
"Well, you see, I forgot," Malik began.  
  
Bakura fell over. ~* ^-^ I just couldn't resist it I had to put an anime fall in here * ~  
  
"But I do know that over in that direction is very very VERY dangerous!...maybe there's a vicious dog loose...no that's not it. Maybe it was an inactive volcano about to erupt....hmm no that's not it either. hey! Maybe it was an out of control dive bombing elephant out to kill us all!" offered the lighter half enthusiastically.  
  
The yami blinked and took a tremendous step away from the boy.  
  
"I hope that whatever you have isn't contagious" commented Bakura.  
  
Malik looked at Bakura confused, obviously not getting the insult  
  
The white haired boy rolled his eyes (baka moron) ignoring Malik's warning he kept walking. At that moment the darker half heard a blood curtailing scream. Pausing for a moment, Bakura turned his feet around and walked back to Malik.  
  
The hikari was sitting down on the grass taking off his skates, humming to himself. Apparently he hadn't heard the scream.  
  
"Can I help you?" asked the blond looking up at the yami curiously.  
  
"You never told me what a lighter was." began Bakura. He would never admit that he took Malik's warning seriously.... Well the warning not the suggestions. (Ha volcano what a moron)  
  
Malik smiled, he could easily see that this was hurting the yami's pride immensely. He just whish he had a camera. What a Kodak moment this would make.  
  
"Glad you asked!" exclaimed the boy, jumping up. "But before I tell you anything you have to do something for me." started hikari.  
  
Bakura was already pissed off this guy was getting on his last nerves how the Hell did Marik stand him?  
  
"You know Malik, if you didn't want to tell me then you don't have to be a jackass about it. Damn it,you could have just said so" replied the darker half angrily.  
  
"What? No no no that's not it. I'll tell you. Promise. It's just that...well if you don't know what a lighter is then...where did you get it?" questioned Marik rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
He just couldn't grasp the fact that Bakura didn't know what a lighter was. I mean he grew up with knowing what a lighter was. In fact, that was his first word!  
  
"Ummm I found it" answered the yami not wanted to admit to being thrown out of his house and had stuff thrown at him.  
  
"Right. Ok then." Replied the blond, clapping his hands together "So umm what do you want to know first?" he asked exuberantly.  
  
"Well, first of all, what does a lighter do any ways?" wondered the white haired boy.  
  
The lighter half was silent for a bit, pondering what to say next. "Ok I lied I wont tell you....to difficult" This was going to be harder than he thought. (I'd better just start off at the basics) "Here ill show you"  
  
Malik reached in his pocket and pulled out a metallic box similar to Bakura's.  
  
"You see this?" stated the hikari "This is my lighter" he hugged it. It was by far his most prized possession. Bakura noticed that it too had writing on it.  
  
"What's it say?"  
  
Malik smiled "I was hoping you would ask that it says...." He cleared his throat.  
  
"Join the army Meet interesting people ...And kill them!" he beamed The yami chuckled a little.  
  
"Ok this is a lighter" began the blond. He flipped it open. "You use it to put things on fire...well technically most people use it to light cigarettes. But that stuff is gross"  
  
"What do you use it for?" questioned Bakura.  
  
"Like I said before. To put things on fire " replied the lighter half getting reiterated, he paused "......you do know what fire is don't you?" Malik was hoping beyond hope Bakura knew what fire was, if not then this was a waist of time.  
  
Bakura glared at Malik. Taking that as an answer the hikari put his thumb on the dial "Right ok umm moving on". A small flame appeared at the top of the lighter as Malik bared down on it. The yami was mesmerized. He had never seen something so beautiful before, Ryou had made it clear that he was NEVER aloud in the kitchen especially near the stove.  
  
Completely oblivious to what he was doing Bakura moved his index finger towards the fire.....and touched it.  
  
"OUCH!" yelped the darker half.  
  
He put his finger inside of his mouth to keep it from hurting. Malik didn't say anything he just looked at Bakura with a face that clearly said ' you dumb ass' Malik had no idea Bakura was this stupid.  
  
"This," started the blond pointing to the flame, "this is fire. Don't touch it. It Hurts really really bad" said Malik as if he was speaking to a 5 year old.  
  
Bakura suddenly had the urge to ring Malik's neck. Instead he just glared at him. Aside from his finger hurting this was getting pretty interesting and he wanted to learn more. Taking his finger out of his mouth "You could have told me that sooner" grumbled the yami. "Well how the hell should I know that you've been living in the pre- historic times. HELL! BEFORE the pre-historic times." Exclaimed the lighter half.  
  
"It's not my fault" pouted Bakura "Ryou's never let me get near the stove let alone the kitchen" he made a little whimper as he put his finger back in is mouth.  
  
"O grow up" criticized the hikari "It will stop hurting eventually. Now do you want me to tell you what I use this for or not?" Getting silence from Bakura, Malik continued. " I am what people call a Pyro Maniac" he stated proudly. The darker half just looked at the him in confusion. Malik sighed seeing Bakura's expression. (This is going to take a while)  
  
The two started walking. Bakura manly kept quiet while Malik explained just about everything, that had to do with fire anyway. Surprisingly this was really interesting to him and even sounded fun. Bakura was so interested in what Malik was saying that he forgot all about his finger.  
  
Malik could hardly believe how much Bakura didn't know about his beloved fire. Not that he was complaining. Malik was actually having fun telling the yami everything he knew about fire and the ways of the Pyros. And strangely enough Bakura was a fast learner. The hikari had never been the smarter one before. He liked it too.  
  
"Keep trying you'll get the hang of it" Malik had just finished showing Bakura how to ignite his lighter. "It took me about three days to get use to it" encouraged the blond.  
  
"Ya well have you ever gotten burned?" questioned Bakura. He had already added about three more burns to his first one. Not to mention his thumb was becoming raw from the jagged edge of the dial.  
  
"O MY RA YES. More then I can count" laughed the hikari "but you eventually get use to it...that and the fact that practice makes perfect."  
  
"Ok so let me get this straight" began the yami. He faced Malik as he started to recap everything he had been taught today. "Pyro Maniacs are people that...like fire?" The hikari nodded. "So what, do they just go around burning stuff?" inquired Bakura.  
  
Malik shook his head "yes...and no. Pyros...well they...umm...." the blond was struggling with his words. "Well actually...ya I guess that's true. But there's more to it then just burning stuff"  
  
"Like?" questioned the yami.  
  
"It's hard to explain. It's one of those things were you just have to figure it out on your own." Replied the lighter half. Bakura nodded in response.  
  
They had become fairly good friends by the time the two had stopped walking. It had taken Malik what seemed like forever to interpret all of his pyro wisdom to the white haired boy.  
  
"Hey Malik umm.....don't take this the wrong way or anything.....or ill hurt you, but umm do you think I could stay at your house for tonight?" asked the yami.  
  
The hikari blinked a few times then started to laugh "The funny thing is I was going to ask you the same thing."  
  
Bakura looked puzzled "You were going to ask me if I would like come over?"  
  
"What? No I was going to ask if I could stay at your house" corrected the blond.  
  
"Damn it. Me and Ryou kinda got into a fight and he through me out" confessed the yami, kicking a rock with his feet. "Why can't I stay to your house?"  
  
"O umm hehehe well you see umm it's really quite a funny story actually but ummm......me and Marik got into a fight too" finished Malik nervously.  
  
Bakura could swear he saw Malik blushing. He wondered why but decided not to question it. There was a short silence.  
  
"Where else could we stay?" questioned the blond.  
  
"How about that Seto guy?" suggested the yami  
  
"Na he's probably to busy with that dog of his anyways" replied Malik.  
  
Bakura chuckled a little "True true."  
  
"What about that Duke guy?" offered the hikari.  
  
" Do you know where he lives?" answered the darker half  
  
"Damn" cursed the blond.  
  
"Well that's crap" stated Bakura.  
  
At that moment Malik heard a small 'squash' under his shoe. He looked down then said, "Yup, doesn't smell to nice either" he admitted with a grimace on his face. The yami looked at his new found friend in confusion. A small smile appeared on his face as he understood.  
  
They both laughed for a while and when they clamed down Bakura said. "Well at least we know the one place where we're NOT going" ~* and no he's not talking about his or Malik's house *~ Malik looked at him then smiled, knowing exactly where he was talking about.  
  
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A/N Humm I wonder what those two are talking about? More specifically where? O well guess you have to what until I move my fast ass and post the next chap. *sigh* im sooo sorry it took so long Its just that I can never get any peace and quiet anyways Im soooo happy all of you like my first chap. ^-^ I feel so loved!!!  
  
Reine Keri- lol ya I thought it was about time for that little albino to stand up for himself too  
  
TheUnlovedOutcast- HOW DARE YOU CHEESE DOODLE ME IN MY OWN FIC!!! But thanks a bunch only you know how horrid my spelling is...by the way cheese doodle P.S your getting lazy on your corrections tsk tsk tsk  
  
Duenna- ^-^ thanks well acutely it was originally going to be Marik but after I thought it over I changed my mined  
  
Misura- wow I'm not worthy you are one of my fave authors. Im sooo glad you liked it. Means alot coming from you  
  
Coty- ^-^ hope you liked this one two...and the next....and the next Will- -_-;;; listen you big fatso get off your lazy ass and wrote your own reviews (he's my brother im aloud to be mean to him)  
  
Angie- thank you  
  
REBECCA- lol happy you enjoyed it. I just love to keep people guessing  
  
Too lazy to sing in- lmao let me guess cough drops right? Lol  
  
Like always REVIEW!!!! And thank you ^-^ 


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